Pic of Me

Carolyn Gaar, BA, RMT

What a Herculean undertaking…to tell you “about me.” I swear that’s not coming from a humongous ego – it comes from knowing that whatever I put down here will only be a story about me, and not really about me. That’s why I love these things (I loooove telling stories), and why I hate these things (there’s always this presumption of truth, which is really an impossibility, ya know?).

So, here goes….

Once upon a time, there was this gal named Carolyn who’d been a lot of things, and tried some things, and been some places. She was nice (mostly), and happy (mostly), and had jobs and ate food and knew people.

 Well, that’s a crummy story. Let’s try again…

I am Carolyn Gaar. I have a cat named Callie and a fiancé named Wittler (well, that’s his last name, but his bad luck – I come from a family of nicknamers, so he is thenceforth and duty titled “Wittler”). I have parents, who also, coincidentally, had parents. I’ve done a lot of research into our family history, and was dubbed the family historian for a time, but that is a pretty daunting task, and I’m intrigued by other things at present so I’ve vacated the post for now. I also have some siblings. They can be trying. I am trying to them, in turn, so it all works out. I have a brother-in-law who has a fondness for heavy machinery, and a niece who delights and exasperates me by turns (she’s two-ish, so no more explanation needed, right?).

I triple-majored in Professional Writing, English, and Secondary English Education at Mount Mary College in Wauwatosa, Wisconsin and have three BAs (and from this, I am sure you can surmise, I’m a bit of an over-doer, over-achiever). I like to wring the last few drops out of every subject. I like to exhaust it, and then mull it over, record it, annotate the records, and then move on. This tends to annoy or fascinate people, depending (it’s always interesting to me who has which reaction…).

I’m an ephemeral phoenix. Ephemeral – brief, changing, temporary. Phoenix – perpetually rising from the ashes, cyclic, mystical. I have been many things, tried many things, dreamt many dreams. And all of those things culminate in this latest incarnation of self – of which, I am especially pleased. I am finally, at long last, pursuing that which I love.

I am a Reiki Master Teacher trained in the Usui Shiki Ryoho tradition of Reiki. I am also trained in Reikissage — a really blissful acupressure massage. I had longed to be a Reiki Practitioner for almost ten years, and that dream has finally come to realization, and I am so grateful.

I am a great autodidact (Self-Teacher), and I am currently teaching myself everything there is to learn about Numerology and Astrology – two lenses through which one can view the self in order to gain greater understanding of the self.

I am a Sagittarius Sun Sign, Aries Rising, Pisces Moon. I could go on, but the only one who’s really fascinated by it is me (which is as it should be). I am full of 4s and 8s and 7s Numerologically – along with a whole slough of other, less weighty numbers.

I am a book lover. There should be Booklover’s Anonymous for people like me – seriously. I am a writer. I love words, I love stories. I love the stories we tell ourselves and the stories we tell each other. I love to learn people through the stories they choose to tell me about themselves. I truly believe that our knowledge of and ability to use language shapes our reality, and I love to try to see inside other people’s realities to ponder on the way that they experience their world. I love the way each of us creates our own mythology and then lives in it. I love the way that reality shifts a little bit whenever I really make a connection with someone, and they connect with me.

I am also intensely interested in herbs – usage and lore. I am a budding gardener (hahaha). Only, it seems, I do not have a naturally green thumb (more like the brown thumb of shriveled death – or at least that’s what my basil whispered yesterday – he’s a cheeky fellow. He’s also right. *Sigh*). At this point, I am relying heavily on my father’s freakish ability to get plants to grow to mutant-like proportions and in perfect health, and his instinctive and innate knowledge of plants and what they like. I’m the book-knowledge part of the duo, and I’ve decided that the books must lie sometimes, because I do what they tell me to, and still, I leave a trail of wilted stems and brown curly leaves in my wake. Hmmm.

About this Blog

What is Dreamphemera? Well, it’s a portmanteau word (like the ones in Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland, only not nearly as clever as his). Not to get too deep on anyone here, but the title suggested to me the fact that our reality is ours alone, and is one long story we tell our selves and dream into being. That’s the first part. The second part comes from one of my favorite words: ephemeral – literally meaning to last a day. And, honestly, that’s all we do – but in spectacular fashion! Our very briefness makes us burn brightly, and all of it captures my heart and my imagination.

That said and explained, the “focus” of this blog is probably my fumbling and jittery journey toward mastery. When I was attuned to the third level of Reiki, I took the “Master” part of the title extremely seriously. For me, using the word Master to describe any part of myself means that I have committed to a life-long path moving toward Mastery, discovering what Mastery means, and exploring what it means to be Masterful in the everyday world.

I definitely enjoy feedback, and love to hear from people, so feel free to comment. I look forward to fumbling toward mastery here in public, where everyone can see [read] – ironically, the only way it can be done.